Photographer finds freedom after abusive marriage

Gulnara grew up surrounded by creativity. Her mother worked in Kazan television as an editor and camera operator, and the fairy tales Gulnara wrote as a child were translated into Tatar and read on the radio.

After high school, she enrolled in the journalism faculty at Kazan State University. While studying, she worked in radio and hosted youth programs, but journalism gradually took a backseat to photography.

“I always liked taking photos, and in 2000, when I bought my first camera, I understood what I wanted to do with my life,” she said.

A former boyfriend, a jazz musician, introduced her to jazz, and it still holds a special place in her heart. In 2003, after the relationship ended, she moved to Moscow. At first she worked in her field, but after an editor at a Russian online outlet noticed her, she was invited to work as a photojournalist.

“It was valuable experience as a photographer, but I got tired of that pace very quickly and went freelance,” she said.

In 2010, one evening, Gulnara jokingly offered to join an ambitious Russian jazz pianist who was heading to New York to record with American musicians.

“She said, ‘OK, if your ticket is your fee,’” Gulnara recalled.

After that first trip on a tourist visa, Gulnara fell in love with New York, “the city of freedom,” and she returned as often as she could. Twice she renewed her tourist visa, which was approved for two years each time. During those years she worked with jazz musicians in the U.S., one of her photos was shortlisted for a Jazz Journalists Association award in 2010, and she served as the official photographer for several jazz festivals.

By 2017, her tourist visa was nearing its end.

“I understood that if I went back to Russia, they wouldn’t renew it again,” she said. “And I thought, better to get married than to return.”

In New York, life opened up new possibilities. As a woman, Gulnara said she felt whole and in demand. She kept photographing the people around her, jazz musicians, creative communities, and the feeling of openness she found in the city.

“We were poor, but it was fun,” she said.

Harlem, with its living culture, felt especially close to her. To stay in the U.S., Gulnara planned to apply for an artist visa. Around that time, she met her future husband on Tinder.

In 2020, during the pandemic, they began living together. Gulnara moved to Sunset Park, which made daily life easier. Later, they officially married.

In 2021, Gulnara gave birth to a daughter. After the birth, she said she could no longer pursue photography in the same way. Her husband did not help with childcare and spent money on his own needs, so she began doing product photography at home.

Conflicts grew during the pregnancy. After the baby was born, Gulnara said the situation became much worse: constant criticism, gaslighting, belittling, and verbal insults became routine. Sometimes he ignored her, creating a tense atmosphere. Other times, she said, he caused scenes over baseless jealousy when she took their daughter to the playground.

“My ex-husband, without a doubt, used the fact that I was completely dependent on him,” she said. “He abused it, and I don’t think the violence was connected to citizenship. In Russia, many women are taught from childhood to be victims, to endure, and not to bring conflicts outside the home. For a long time, I couldn’t recognize that in myself because I thought that kind of behavior was normal.”

Things began to change when a friend, after hearing her story, brought Gulnara to a Family Justice Center. A conversation with a counselor shifted her understanding, and she realized she had been living in an abusive relationship.

“At first it was hard to believe what was happening,” she said. “I never thought this could happen to me.”

Later she learned her husband had not been paying rent for a long time, something she said she did not know. They ended up in housing court, and a judge set a move-out deadline. That was the breaking point.

“I told him, our paths end here,” she said. “I can’t live with you anymore.”

By chance, a kind neighbor helped her find temporary housing. Soon, Gulnara and her daughter moved into a family shelter in Kensington, where they lived for about a year. Conditions were manageable, but the rules were strict. Social workers helped her apply for benefits, enroll her daughter in daycare, and begin the search for permanent housing. A counselor helped her work through trauma.

Gulnara also brought her daughter along to photoshoots. The girl watched as her mother worked with clients and photographed people. Even through the upheaval, Gulnara said, her creative life did not stop.

Last year, by a stroke of luck, Gulnara met a realtor who helped her find an apartment. A social worker supported her with paperwork. The process took time, but before New Year’s they moved into a new, cozy home in Sunset Park, the neighborhood she says she loves.

Today, Gulnara is a U.S. citizen and continues to work as a photographer. Motherhood changed the shape of her days. She spends evenings with her daughter, and she books shoots during the day while her daughter is in daycare.

“I don’t want to get married again, and I’m not going to let toxic people into my life, not into my personal space, and not into my circle,” she said.