Long separations and reunions: the challenges and healing of satellite babies

Some Chinese parents in the United States, faced with high living costs and limited childcare support, often entrust their newborns to relatives in China. During this period, parents and children mainly connect through video calls. These children are figuratively known as “satellite babies.”

Immigrant families and the rise of satellite babies

Sunset Park hosts one of the highest concentrations of new Chinese immigrants in the city, many struggling to make ends meet and, due to language barriers, often unable to take advantage of government resources. In some cases, undocumented Chinese immigrants who enter the U.S. through smuggling networks are also burdened with heavy debts to brokers. When faced with the added pressure of parenthood, many feel unable to provide adequate living conditions for their children and temporarily send their babies to China to be cared for by family.

According to the Parent-Child Relationship Association, which serves Chinese families in Sunset Park, more than half of the 1,000 active members since its founding in 2016 have children who are satellite babies. The phenomenon is especially common among immigrants from Fujian, where children often return to the U.S. only when they reach school age or adolescence.

Reunited, emotional distance remains

Satellite babies are often raised in China by grandparents. Some are deeply indulged, with every request granted. But after arriving in the U.S., they face a stark contrast: they must adjust to living with parents who, after years of hard work to make a living, emphasize rules and responsibility rather than unconditional indulgence.

The transition also means separating children from the relatives who nurtured them and placing them in unfamiliar American classrooms, where they may struggle to fit in. Emotional distance from parents makes it difficult to confide or seek guidance.

Experts say this lack of stable parent-child bonds is one reason satellite babies are more vulnerable to going astray in adolescence. With fragile communication and trust, parents often find their attempts at discipline ineffective.

One Chinese girl who returned to the U.S. as a teenager recalled how being a satellite baby shaped her life. She struggled with insecurity, identity confusion, and fear of socializing. Lacking English skills, she felt isolated in class, unable to reach her academic potential. Her grades collapsed, and she became withdrawn and depressed.

With parental support, healing is possible

In one case, a satellite baby was diagnosed with depression during adolescence. She became more discouraged when comparing herself to her younger sister, who had been raised in the U.S. Fortunately, her mother worked with the school and medical advisors on treatment, building a closer relationship with her daughter. Over time, the girl’s condition improved.

A longtime member of the Parent-Child Relationship Association said many Chinese parents equate love with material support, believing that providing food, shelter, and money is enough, while overlooking their children’s emotional and psychological needs.

“This is how many Chinese parents show love — they think that giving children food and clothing and a home to live in is enough,” she said. “We are working hard to change this way of thinking.”

She stressed that children’s mental health is equally important. While working to support their families, immigrant parents should also care for their own and their children’s emotional wellbeing, spending more time together to make up for the intimacy lost in the early years.

“For example, community-organized day trips or activities at the park are great opportunities to strengthen parent-child relationships,” she said. “Parents should prioritize spending quality time with their kids.”

Under the leadership of Appleseed Youth Leadership, a group of Brooklyn Chinese students researched satellite babies, interviewing several and compiling their experiences into a report. The study aims to help parents understand the consequences of “sending children back” and encourage them to support their children’s adjustment to life in the U.S.

The research notes that parents should not force satellite babies into unfamiliar social situations, but instead encourage them to seek out peers with shared interests. The study also found that finding time to take parent-child trips together to new places can not only deepen bonds, but help children adapt to new environments with an open mind.

Finally, the study urges Chinese parents to move away from the habit of trying to soothe or manage children by buying them things when conflicts arise. Likewise, discipline should not be handed down without first understanding what a child is feeling. A better approach is to listen, validate their emotions, and respond with empathy and guidance.